The Assassination

I’m leaving this Tumblr behind. If you want to follow me, find a way to contact me and get the...

Sat, 21 Jan 2012 23:22:01 -0500

I’m leaving this Tumblr behind. If you want to follow me, find a way to contact me and get the new link. I won’t be checking this one again.

Tumbles. I forgot you again.

Sun, 14 Aug 2011 16:12:46 -0400

I’m really bad at keeping up on my blogging.

So…An…Update? I guess, haha.

So I just finished my final exams. Speech went fine, despite the obnoxious amount of light….Math went fine too. I finished it in under 30 minutes, whoopee. UI, however…I’m pretty sure I bombed it. Everything went wrong…

The MiRF starts next weekend, and hopefully I’ll get my wings before we start. The lady was supposed to be there for dress rehearsal, but…Meh.

A friend from back in high school became just worried enough to do something about it. I’m being sent a new hobby soon, a tattoo gun. Oranges, beware, for you are my first prey! Going to tattoo all over you….muahahahaha….

I’m also doing one of those new diet things plus a semi-random workout routine thinger. Pretty sure I’m not obsessed but yeah. I could be wrong. However, plain beef broth doesn’t taste bad at all. (: Still haven’t tried chicken yet.

Also.

STRING! OMG!

alaskapokegal: REBLOG FOREVER Giggle.

Sun, 14 Aug 2011 15:26:40 -0400

alaskapokegal:

REBLOG FOREVER

Giggle.

It's almost that time of year again.

Sun, 17 Jul 2011 12:55:10 -0400

I can smell it in the air.

The long hours in the sun, ruining my graveyard tan.

The obscure dances being learned step by step while hand in hand with a man I’d never met but twice.

Utilikilts and shoes that read “Capt. Saffron”.

Bright and shiny new wings, and searching for sales on fabric.

Leather boots that don’t look like they belong to a dominatrix…Well, not all the time they don’t.

It’s rehearsals right now, but in just one short month, the gates will open. The cannon will fire. The music will play. We’ll put the accents back on, lace up our bodices, and create the illusion once more.

<3 I love my job so much.

Creepypasta: Animal Crossing

Tue, 12 Jul 2011 21:16:31 -0400

Creepypasta: Animal Crossing:

creepypastaawyeah:

Did you play Animal Crossing as a child?
If one game defined my childhood, it was Animal Crossing. It was like having an alternate, idyllic life. When most people play that game they only play for 15 minutes at a time, unless they have something important to do, like complete a festival or do…

FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

I’m selling my goddamn copy of this game.

SCREW. THAT. Oh my god. -twitch-

Wait, you aren't doing that diet are you? That's worrisome, because diets like that are incredibly bad for you...

Tue, 12 Jul 2011 21:00:14 -0400

I know it’s awful to do, at the absolute least the human body should consume 1,200 kcal. per day. Though, in all honesty, I eat less than the amounts listed on that diet on a daily basis. I just never feel like it.

So, in a way, I’m going *up* rather than *down*…That makes no sense.

Oh wow. I found it.

Sun, 10 Jul 2011 14:49:55 -0400

I can’t believe this thing really exists. It’s insane, just look at it. I’m surprised someone wouldn’t be dead at the end of it.

Day 1: 500 cal

2. 500

3.300

4.400

5. 100

6. 200

7. 300

8. 400

9. 500

10. fast

11. 150

12. 200

13. 400

14. 350

15. 250

16. 200

17. Fast

18. 150

19. 100

20. 50

21. 100

22. 200

23. 200

24. 300

25. 800 (really?? thats a tonne I found this diet online but I’d be terrified to consume that so for myself I’m gonna go for a nice safe 500 cals)

26.Fast

27. 250

28.350

29.450

30. fast

31. 500

32. 450

33. 400

34. 350

35. 300

36. 250

37. 200

38. 200

39.250

40.200

41. 300

42. 200

43. 150

44. Fast

And honestly I’m relieved, because I don’t get a lot of people reading my blog…I’ll be genuinely surprised if anyone says a thing about this.

Food, I hate you.

Sat, 18 Jun 2011 03:30:41 -0400

I don’t eat, and I’m fine. However…I -do- eat…and BAM headache.

Seems like a good enough reason to me.

“So, what if I come home and tell you I found out I’m crazy?” “Easy....

Fri, 03 Jun 2011 15:20:00 -0400

“So, what if I come home and tell you I found out I’m crazy?”

“Easy. I’ll have you committed.”

Thanks. Now I’m more afraid to go see a doctor. I absolutely love how *that’s* the kind of joke you picked right then.

Love you too, Dad.

Whaaaa?

Thu, 02 Jun 2011 15:59:40 -0400

So…I try to go to a newish hookah cafe with Donovan…Who’s right there. *point* And the place is closed. o.O So I find a second one within five miles of the other one. It has wi-fi. …And computers set up at a couple of the tables.

…Happyface. That’s all.
I’m really just all ridiculously excited that this is posting to my facebook. Feel free to disregard! :D

Test, test!

Thu, 02 Jun 2011 00:32:22 -0400

This post is really just a test to see if my facebook thing works the right way. If it does, than a whole new venue of people will be subjected to my rants. Woo!

Sickening.

Wed, 01 Jun 2011 21:08:00 -0400

I have hidden these events from myself and others for far too long. I had much of this written up before, but being my idiotic self, I closed the window, my internet went out, and I lost all of it. I’ll start again.

My name is Julie Anne Seasword. Many people call me just Yulie, Julie, Julie Anne, or several rather unflattering names. I am twenty years old, twenty-one in about three months. My favorite color is indigo, and on the outside, I seem just like everyone else. Angsty, depressed, sometimes cheerful, blah blah blah. I hurt myself sometimes, right now my left wrist is covered in bracelets so that I won’t have to look at the fresh red slashes I made with my box cutter last night.

Why do I do it? Now it’s so that I won’t think about bad things, or do anything worse. I’ve attempted suicide several times in the past five years. I want more than anything for someone to ask me “Why, what’s wrong?” and not feel like I have to lie. Let me start from the beginning.

About two and a half to three years ago, a man - if you can call him that - that told me he loved me daily … I don’t want to say he “drugged” me, per se, it’s more that he spiked my drinks to the point that I passed out for a little while, and he raped me. He was still on top of me when I came to. I still don’t remember all of that night…day…afternoon…I don’t know what month, what day, what time of day it was, nothing. All that I remember is the pain of what he was doing to me, the shame of having to face him..and the utter shame and fear I felt, preventing me from leaving him for good.

It wasn’t the last time it happened. After he stole my virginity from me, he took me by force one more time after refusing to let me leave his house. After years of repressing and forgetting it ever happened, I remember everything. I won’t do anything legally about it, the evidence is long gone, and the only thing that it left me with was an absurd fear of both men and sex.

Months later, I was free of him, but having nightmares of his face and his actions every night. I woke up crying every night for quite a while, unless someone was in the room with me. It made me feel safer, and I could sleep much more soundly.

I moved to a new home. I met my best friend. I started going to college…and I met my next boyfriend at that college.

I should have listened to the nerves and anxiety I felt when I was around him. He was pushy…Not emotionally abusive, just pushy. He wanted sex, too, I wasn’t willing to give it to him. He came over to my house, we tried watching a movie I downloaded…And things went bad. I hadn’t felt so violated in years. No, he didn’t exactly rape me, but it was very, very close. He’s a good person, don’t get me wrong..But the memory of him stripping me down and his fingers inside of me still makes me cringe. Thankfully he stopped, around the time I started crying.

I broke up with him that day. I didn’t want to go through something like that again.

I told my best friend very vaguely what had happened. He didn’t judge me. He stood by me and helped me. Some time later, he asked me out, and I wasn’t afraid of him.

Why?

In all the time that I’ve known him, he’s never done anything to lead me to think that he would hurt me. He even holds the same ideals of what’s right and what’s not.

For the first time in years, I feel like I’m not being judged, and like I can finally tell someone what’s wrong with me. In addition to that, for the first time, I’m in a relationship that I genuinely feel like his equal.

Everything I wrote above here is true. I’m just so sick of hiding it and pretending that I’m okay. I know that it’s likely a lot of people won’t read this. I don’t really care who does and who doesn’t…It’s out there, and I feel infinitely better for writing all of this.

Okay. Fucking FUCK my life.

Wed, 01 Jun 2011 20:46:24 -0400

I fucking had this long ass memoir type entry written up.

My internet went out.

AND IT’S FUCKING GONE.

I am not happy.

Oh Tumbles, how understanding art thou.

Mon, 16 May 2011 01:21:35 -0400

I completely forgot I had a blog. I’ll resume ranting shortly. For now, though, this is the first time I’ve had a real bath instead of a shower and gotten to sleep in my own bed in three days. I’m gonna use every last second for just that!

Good night, Tumbles.

Enslavement.

Fri, 06 May 2011 15:10:00 -0400

Below is an excerpt, more elegantly written, from a dream I had last night.

I sit outside with two of the men I go to school with. One named Tyrel I believe, and the other named Paul. One is native american, and one is “black”.

Says the native boy to me, “Your people ran mine out of their homes, forcing us to live on reservations.”

Says the “black” boy to me, “And they enslaved my family.”

Oh, no, sirs. No.

“My family,” I say to the native boy. “My family lived right along side yours, their trek coated in bitter tears as they were forced from their homes, beaten, raped, and killed. And YOU, sir!” I turned toward the dear friend of mine, the “black” gentleman on whom I, out of my dream, truly feel I could rely on if I needed to.

“You..You raped and beat us, you shoved me in a tiny cell and killed my family right in front of me. You left me in that cell, allowing me to be beaten and raped repeatedly until finally YOU saw fit to bring me back out into the sunlight…Only to be strapped to a wooden stake with hay at my feet! You took your sweet time lighting the bales upon deconstructed bales…Allowing me to watch as you crushed more of my family beneath such large rocks, drowned them, stoned them. As I burned you forced my face toward the forests, forcing me to see the beast you have made of my god… Simply because my god has horns! My horned god, my Cernunnos, you have painted him red with the very blood of his children, and made him watch and watch as his children are destroyed in every way possible! You followed him and trapped him, battering him and stealing his very identity from him, until he was the demon that YOU know as Lucifer, as Satan! You left him for dead and ripped him from our very souls! YOU, sir…YOU have enslaved ME.”

The Misadventures of the Unholy Orange (And Her Unholy Fruit Army)

Thu, 05 May 2011 11:22:00 -0400

I am the unholy Orange. Fear my citrussy power…But moreso, fear my unholy Guava! He’s a scary little bastard, he is.

More later on this exciting development HERE.

Oh god.

Thu, 05 May 2011 11:13:41 -0400

Oh god. Oh god. He’s f*cking scaring me. I do not want to do this kind of shit. OHHHH NOES. Noooooo.

…Okay. He’s kidding. :D I like it when people are just kidding.

BUT EFFING STOP IT.

I sure could use a vacation from this Stupid shit.Stupid...

Wed, 04 May 2011 22:23:45 -0400

I sure could use a vacation from this

Stupid shit.
Stupid shit.
Stupid shit.

One great big festering neon distraction.
I’ve a suggestion to keep you all occupied.

Learn to swim.
Learn to swim.
Learn to swim.

"Oh how I wish For soothing rain Oh how I wish To dream again. Once and for all, and all for..."

Mon, 02 May 2011 01:58:17 -0400

“

Oh how I wish
For soothing rain
Oh how I wish
To dream again.

Once and for all, and all for once,
Nemo, my name, forevermore.

”

- Nightwish, Nemo. Tarja era. Once.

A very good song by a talented young man…Even if I...

Mon, 02 May 2011 01:56:48 -0400

A very good song by a talented young man…Even if I normally hate this style of music.